It’s the New Year so that means it’s time for some bandwagon jumping (more on that later) with a post about some intentions for the year. Bear with me here, I fear this one could be a rambler.
Before a new year begins I make sure I find time to reflect and look at areas I want to work on for the coming year. A few years back I decided I wanted to place focus on being brave, and I made some major changes and plans off the back of that, not least starting a family and quitting my job.
As 2016 drew to a close I was tired and on a bit of a downer, and I found I kept being drawn into negative thoughts, about myself and my abilities but also others around me, with little things becoming bigger issues than they needed to be. I found I was judging both myself and others too harshly, setting unrealistic expectations and then being disappointed when they weren’t being reached. And so I decided that 2017 would be the year of non-judgement. I would strive to accept things, people and situations as they were and not place value judgements onto them.
This was working out just fine until I came across a blog post that bugged me, really got under my skin and as I rained venom down upon it to my long-suffering husband he encouraged me to blog about my thoughts. But I couldn’t I said, what about my resolution (ignoring the fact that I’d obliterated my own Zen already with the verbal outpouring).
And that led me to thinking, does taking a path of non-judgement and acceptance mean you become bland, voiceless, passive to everything taking place around you? I’m still not 100% sure of the answer to that but I’ve concluded that being non-judgemental doesn’t mean you have no opinion. If I state my opinion as just that, and not a fact, devoid of heavy emotion or negativity, then it feels acceptable.
With that in mind, I will attempt to turn the negativity of my rant into a positive message…let me know if I manage it.
Know your voice
Since becoming a mum I’ve enjoyed anecdotes about the (previously) unseen realities of motherhood that pop up on social media, that those little munchkins are as often the spawn of satan (judgement?) as angelic cherubs. Hurrah for Gin is a personal fave. But, as has always happened and will no doubt continue to happen, I’m now starting to see bandwagon jumpers (told you it was coming). It happened with 50 Shades (in my personal opinion I have no idea why that ever became a thing), it happened with Twilight, in fact pretty much anything zeitgeisty, and with the launch of a number of big books by some of the anti-mummy bloggers (for want of a better term) this Christmas it seems like everyone’s at it, chasing followers, likes, shares and maybe even big bucks through imitation.
But why the anger? Removing extreme emotion from the equation I think I found it frustrating, saddening and a little disappointing to read a post so obviously trying to exploit the quirks of the more popular writers of the genre. I didn’t even disagree with what she was saying, it was the way she was saying it that made me feel sickened. It was like looking at the blog equivalent of one of those generically pretty girls with too much fake tan and hair extensions (OK that was blatant judgement there, I apologise).
It brought me back to one thing – authenticity.
Just be you. Know your voice and know how to use it. That’s why people get ‘picked up’ in the first place, because they’re saying something different in a way no one has said it before. I know that takes confidence and everyone has their idols but all I ask is that you try. Find your voice and employ it. And if you can’t find it, maybe just don’t say anything at all.
But that’s just my opinion.
If you do I won’t judge you, I’ll just quietly close down my browser window, unclench my jaw and work on resetting my Zen.